If you have ever been to France, you know that they don’t concern themselves with such trivial concepts like showering and wearing deodorant. They consider abhorrent body odors a “natural part of life.” My personal reaction to this notion was that rotten teeth are a “natural part of life,” too, so why is tooth-brushing a common practice in France? There seems to be a major plot hole in the book of French societal norms.
Alas, my point: After much deliberation, I have decided not to assimilate into this one particular aspect of French culture. Yes, it sounds blasphemous, but I plan to shower here in France. And not just sparingly, but EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. HA! Still, it’s as if the French have learned of my wretched plan and are doing everything that they can to prevent me from achieving this goal of (gasp!) good hygiene. They even rigged my shower to be as inefficient as possible. To operate it, I have to push a button, after which I get about 12 seconds worth of lukewarm water before it turns off again. And I suppose they think that’s all the cleaning I need, and that I will submit to their shower usage hegemony.
Oh…ho..ho..ho, silly Frenchies. You forgot about my Portuguese ingenuity. Yes, the uncanny ability passed down through the generations to solve any problem with merely a penny and a string. I glanced quickly across my dorm room. Aha! I pulled an elastic cable off of my suitcase, then wrapped it around the shower ‘button.’ I can easily tighten it and loosen it as I please. Eureka! Constant water flow! With this new technology, I can shower for five…ten….even TWENTY minutes! Mwahahaha…..
Alas, my point: After much deliberation, I have decided not to assimilate into this one particular aspect of French culture. Yes, it sounds blasphemous, but I plan to shower here in France. And not just sparingly, but EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. HA! Still, it’s as if the French have learned of my wretched plan and are doing everything that they can to prevent me from achieving this goal of (gasp!) good hygiene. They even rigged my shower to be as inefficient as possible. To operate it, I have to push a button, after which I get about 12 seconds worth of lukewarm water before it turns off again. And I suppose they think that’s all the cleaning I need, and that I will submit to their shower usage hegemony.
Oh…ho..ho..ho, silly Frenchies. You forgot about my Portuguese ingenuity. Yes, the uncanny ability passed down through the generations to solve any problem with merely a penny and a string. I glanced quickly across my dorm room. Aha! I pulled an elastic cable off of my suitcase, then wrapped it around the shower ‘button.’ I can easily tighten it and loosen it as I please. Eureka! Constant water flow! With this new technology, I can shower for five…ten….even TWENTY minutes! Mwahahaha…..
1 comments:
PROUD INDEED, being the Portugese part of the family I applaud your ingenuity. However do-not get caught smelling good among the French they will suspect something
happy showering use a little wine as deodorant.
Take Care
L D
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